“So when I was given an opportunity to work in one of the Onsen Hotel in Kumamoto City as a hotel receptionist, I immediately took up that offer. I would want to challenge myself and see how far I could go with this opportunity.
Before taking off for the journey, I did not have any expectations. I was driven and most of my friends and family supported my decision. I told myself that I would try a different working culture for 3 years and if it went well, I will consider permanently staying in Japan. With only some basic knowledge of Japanese, I was fearless as nothing will stop me from living in Japan.
After a year working in Japan, I told myself enough is enough. I was under a great deal of pressure and it almost caused me to feel depressed because of the stressful working environment required me to be a ‘yes’ man even though my rational brain told me otherwise.
One night when I was video-calling with my best friend back in Malaysia, she told me that if you think the lifestyle is not what you want, you can always come back to Malaysia, here is your real home.
“Kuroshi” is not a new term, I have heard of it before I traveled to Japan. That is one of the many reasons brought me back home.
The main reason my mind has changed is because the working culture was rigid and inflexible. For example, when the managers were planning for a new project, they always stick with the one and only plan they have in mind. With the absence of backup plans, they will give up on the idea entirely once the plan has failed. I have a few local colleagues who are distressed with the working style, but they do not dare to raise out their concern simply because they do not want to upset their superiors.
I was told that showing emotion was forbidden at work… I have to hide all my feelings and emotions from everyone… when I went back to my room, I will cry out my emotions. I felt that bottling up my emotions was unhealthy and I told myself I needed to put a stop to it. At that point of time, I could genuinely understand what the working adults are going through, it is a sense of emptiness.
Family was never their priority, they only cared about their career. I would think that New Year is one of the many occasion to gather with friends and family. I would find it surprising when most of my colleague said they work during New Years Day.
Most working adults would stay alone in the city and never leave their home unless it is needed. During the last General Election in Malaysia, I flew back to Malaysia to vote. My decision was being criticised and laughed by my local colleagues because they would not go to the extent of taking a day off simply for to vote in an election.
I had a lots of fun being in Japan, but working there is definitely not a great pleasure. I met a Malaysian lady who stayed in the hotel, it was the first in a long time someone spoke Mandarin to me and I felt genuinely happy. Before she left, she passed me her name card and told me that if anyone tried to bully me, do not hesitate to call her immediately. It made me realise that no matter where we are, Malaysians will always be there for each other”.
Photostory by Kelvin Mah
Edited by Mushamir Mustafa
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(This post was first published on January 6th 2019)
