‘I have dreams, and if somebody cannot fulfill it I will think of other people who can fulfill it. So during that time the other guy was more outdoorsy than my husband and I felt that he could fulfill my wishes.
‘My husband and I have totally different personalities. He’s very quiet, and I’m the extrovert, bubbly type of person. Like yin and yang….we have conflicts where both lines meet.
‘Because of that friction between us we cannot tolerate each other. So when you feel lonely you will find other options, such as with your pet cats. For me, I found another man.
‘I thought that maybe with him I could travel around the world.
‘My husband and I had a big fight because I wanted to go and he wanted me to stay. I told him maybe this is not the right way for us.
‘For me, if you love each other you will fight for each other. I told him that marriage requires two people, not one, and if you don’t want to fight for this marriage, I cannot fight for this marriage.
‘He told me how I was the one for him, how I changed his life, and when a guy kneels in front of you and begs at you like crazy – well I felt that he’s the right guy for me because he’s fighting for me.
‘I also thought that in marriage you have to look at the bright side of people. Maybe he ‘hurted’ me because he is not an outdoor person and doesn’t go out with me that often, but he is the one who pays my bills or helps carry the groceries, he’s there if you need someone to talk to – there are positive things as well. And maybe he just has to be more like me, and me more like him.
‘Maybe its just my fate. And you have to think about yours and his family as well. I thought that rather than be selfish, why not I think about other people and those who are happy that we are together, so I stayed on.
‘The journey to get married might take 4 years but your journey after that is 30 years. You can impress someone for 4 years, but make sure you can impress them for 30 years after that as well. Small things can become bigger things, that’s very crucial in marriage.
‘You have to keep up your effort after you get married, and even in dating, to ensure the marriage is blooming.
‘And I realized about the other guy – yes sure he is a somebody, but maybe its just not meant to be and was just a one-off thing, a light crush, even though I met him just once, and nothing happened.
‘And that it was just a fantasy.
‘And I don’t even dare to cheat and have affairs… I don’t like it.
‘Because I believe that whatever comes around, goes around’.
Photostory by Mushamir Mustafa
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(This post was first published on April 15th 2016)
