“I was the ‘pelajar cemerlang’ at 12, completed my Grade 8 piano and violin at 15, and was the youngest conductor of the orchestra at 16. I dare say I had a deprived childhood and was angry at her for a long time.
My mom was the runner up for Miss Universe Malaysia in 1977. She’s half German, but when it comes to money, she’s very Asian. She saw a talent in me and set a high benchmark. Since I responded well, she thought I enjoyed it and was even more gungho towards me.
I grew up around the entertainment industry. There was this audition for babies where the first one who crosses the Finishing Line would get the main role, as simple as that.
For two weeks my mom would train me 2 hours daily. On the audition day, there were 50 babies. When all babies were crying and zigzagging, I crawled straight to victory.
So that’s how I scored my first job, and it paid me a couple of thousand dollars.
At the age of 4, my mom would just leave me to hang out with the TV producers and cameraman, while she did her own stuff. That trained me to be really independent.
After a while, I wasn’t sure if being in entertainment was satisfying my needs or satisfying her needs – because she used to boast to her friends when I appeared on news and TV commercials.
The reality only started to hit when I was a teenager. I felt like I didn’t have the freedom, and music especially felt like a chore. It was all about serious stuff and I lost the enjoyment. At 14, I became rebellious.
It became darker after I finished high school. I felt like all of this is finally done, and its time for me to really have my own life. At that time, when my parents told me to do anything or challenged me, I would just walk out from the house and won’t come back for a week.
Of course, now that I’ve grown up, I realized all parents just want the best for their kids.
The turning point for me was when I went to a leadership course, and they asked a question, ‘‘In the event that you leave this world earlier than your parents, what would you want your parents to say to you at your funeral?’
That question triggered me. I realized that I will miss my parents, especially my mom, a lot.
In my 20s, when I was working hard, I used to shut down my mom’s call. I was easily agitated by her. Moms are just being moms, they want to just make conversation.
My moms a storyteller, so she just loved telling stories. She would make every call sound so urgent, at that time there’s no Whatsapp, so everytime she would call me, even at the office.
So when I read that question, if my parents were gone from my life, I would actually miss all these calls and random stories that she used to share.
Even though I never got to express how I love them through words, most of it was through my actions.
When I look back at the past, from primary school, to high school, I always took the road less traveled.
My parents have always given me an unspoken kind of support. They don’t put pressure on me to give them allowance on a monthly basis, which I still feel very horrible for.
When I was bootstrapping on my own, I didn’t even pay myself a salary for 14 months.
Deep down inside, I know that whatever they put me through has really moulded me into who I am today. And I cannot thank them enough for that”.
(Part 1/2, stay tuned for the second part of the story!)
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Humans of Kuala Lumpur is partnering withMalaysian Global Innovation and Creativity Centre(MaGIC) in featuring inspiring and impact-driven entrepreneurs, problem solvers and startups in their mission to solve Malaysia’s problems!#HumansofMaGIC
Photostory by Amalina Davis
Edited by Mushamir Mustafa
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(This post was first published on July 26th 2018)
